Little Hands, Big Plans - Motherhood and Business

From PICU Nurse to Doula Work: Trading Shifts for Morning Snuggles

• Emilia Coto • Season 1 • Episode 16

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Lauren Washington, a former pediatric intensive care unit (PICU) nurse, shares her courageous journey of leaving healthcare after COVID to be more present with her children and pursue a life aligned with her values. She discusses the identity crisis that came with stepping away from her career, finding peace in a slower pace, and how transitioning from clinical nursing to becoming a doula allowed her to use her skills in a new way.

• Working in pediatric emergency and intensive care before having children
• The identity crisis and guilt that came with leaving a prestigious nursing career 
• Creating a slower pace of life with morning cuddles and homeschooling
• Moving from suburbs to country to provide more space and opportunities for the family
• Becoming a doula after experiencing both traumatic and empowering births
• Navigating multiple passions and interests while prioritizing motherhood
• Using homeschooling to teach life skills beyond traditional academics
• Balancing holistic health values with traditional medical approaches
• Finding identity and purpose in faith rather than career achievements
• Simplifying and taking small steps toward personal goals during the little years

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For other episodes and resources, visit our website at https://littlehandsbigplans.co/pages/podcast

Speaker 1:

In this episode, I'm joined by Lauren Washington, a former pediatric intensive care unit nurse who had the courage to leave a steady, well-paying career after COVID to be more present with her children and pursue a life that aligns with her values. Now Lauren is a certified doula, a homeschooling mom and a creative with many passions. Lauren's story reminds us that we don't need a perfectly polished business plan or a big title to walk in purpose. Today, we'll talk about what it takes to leave the safe path, the beauty of trying multiple things and how motherhood can be the catalyst that gives us permission to reimagine everything. This conversation is for the mom who's wondering if it's okay to start over or start something totally new. Welcome to Little Hands Big Plans, the podcast for moms who want to reimagine work after kids and build a life where family comes first, without giving up your dreams. I'm Emilia and I know firsthand how much motherhood shifts our careers, our priorities and our pace. But instead of seeing it as a setback, what if we saw it as an invitation, an opportunity to design a life with a little more freedom, a little more presence and a little more fulfillment? Each week, we'll have honest conversations with moms who've shaped their work and business around what truly matters. Whether you're considering a career pivot, dreaming of a slower pace or just wondering what's possible, you're in the right place. So grab a little something warm, settle in and let's explore the possibilities together.

Speaker 1:

So, lauren, you spent many years working in the hospital system. I know you worked in pediatrics, er and also intensive care unit. I'm wondering what drew you to nursing originally? I think most nurses and medical people in general get started because they want to help people in general, and that's a really vague kind of answer and a lot of the time they don't know what that means in real life, but they think that helping people's physical body is what's going to be of best help to them overall. For me, I had wanted specifically to do medical missions. I'd wanted to kind of get some training here in the States, figure out what I was doing, and then go work somewhere abroad and I had started working on some Spanish and stuff, and so I thought maybe God would lead me in that direction and I was able to take several medical mission trips and things to different countries, which was a life-changing experience. It was amazing, but obviously, obviously God led me in a different path. So I mean, that's kind of what got me started, and then it just goes from there.

Speaker 1:

Really, what is it like to work in emergency situations with children? Most people, when they would hear that I work in PEDS, they always say oh, how do you do that? How do you work with kids? That must be so heartbreaking and, honestly, when I started I was of the mindset because I had worked first with adults and it was a cancer floor. There was so much death, there was so much disability. These people's pride and everything that they had been as a person, their whole life, was suddenly gone and it was a really depressing, gross, honestly, field to work in. And so I always knew I wanted to work with kids, but I couldn't get in right out of nursing school because it's a specialized field. I got in with a pediatric ER right before I got married.

Speaker 1:

I moved to Georgia and started a new hospital and first I worked on the floor inpatient, so I got some of that view with surgery and trauma patients, and then I worked in the ER for several more years after that and at the time I didn't have kids. So at the time it was very not personal, it was just a job. It's just a thing that you do and yeah, it's sad. Sometimes People would always say, how do you give these kids IVs, how do you make them do these hard things? And in my mind it was what they needed. Of course they're not going to like it. You do things for your kids all the time that they don't like and that's what's best. And so it wasn't hard for me. And I will say I did have after my son was born and actually I wasn't working after my daughter was born, but after my son was born it was a different situation, especially working in the ER. I did a few traumas. I was certified in trauma. There was this one case in particular. He was pretty close to my son's age and he passed away due to abuse and that one kind of hit home thinking how someone can do that to a child. But in general most of what you see in the ER is re-noses and fevers and rashes and, you know, a broken arm occasionally, things like that. But most of it is not the heart-wrecking situations, but obviously they do happen. Yeah, it's hard. I can only imagine how you can go from that and then go home and then you have your own child and but I also think it's important to have people that are compassionate and that will genuinely care for their patient.

Speaker 1:

Did you find that you had to do a lot of management of the parents as opposed to the child, or was it when someone is in an ER or intensive care unit situation you felt that you didn't have to manage? The parents were the worst. They were the worst part of the whole thing. Honestly, the kids were a blast for the most part. Now, as a parent, I understand and I did find that after my son had gotten, you know, croup or even just minor sicknesses, a few times I had to contemplate going in the hospital or what I was going to do. That changed my perspective as a nurse and it made me a lot more compassionate towards the parents coming in who are freaking out. Maybe they have good reason, maybe they don't, but like this is a completely new world for them. So, yeah, they were tough sometimes, but also they knew their kid the best and it was very easy to have the mindset Most of the doctors and nurses would get so jaded after seeing what they saw they just say, oh, that parent's crazy, or they don't really know what.

Speaker 1:

I know because I'm a nurse or whatever, and no, nine times out of 10, the parent was right about things. They know when their kid's off. They know when something's more serious. Maybe to us, clinically it would be insignificant, but for them it's way off for their kid. And it's hard when you have other staff who are downplaying that. Because now, as a mom coming away, I know the talk that happens behind closed doors at a hospital and that's always going to be in the back of my mind. There's just that crazy mom who's over-concerned. And now you have left the traditional healthcare path. I'm wondering what was the hardest part about leaving that chapter behind? It was a big identity crisis for me. A little bit.

Speaker 1:

I didn't enjoy this last job that I was at when we moved up here to Michigan. Right before my daughter was born, I started a new hospital, so I did work a little bit in the PICU Most of it was on the pediatric floor as a float nurse. But I did not really integrate into the social hierarchy of the nurses there very well because I didn't work very often. Most of them were new grads. Hierarchy of the nurses there. Very well, because they didn't work very often, most of them were new grads and the whole way of the hospital, how it runs was different, the dynamics and everything. I didn't enjoy going to work. It wasn't like you had to tear me away from my job in that sense, but it was like I worked so hard to get where I am today. My certifications I had a trauma certification, a pediatric certification that I worked hard for and if they go away I knew I would probably never get it again.

Speaker 1:

That was probably the hardest thing for me. Obviously there was a financial aspect where I was making the most money I had ever made probably before, at least hourly and we came to the conclusion that it was not worth the stress of working so infrequently that I kind of forget how things work or forget the protocols or forget passwords, even you know, and then have to worry about that when I get home and the next time before I go into work. It wasn't worth the money that I was making, and so the financial aspect was even probably backseat to the whole identity thing. It's like if I don't have my career I'm just a mom, and now I know that's a lie from Satan. That isn't true, but I think most women, especially in today's age where you're told if you don't work you're either lazy or worthless, that you're not doing anything important with your life, and I just. It's so easy to lose your identity and motherhood, and so that was probably the biggest struggle for me is, if not this, then what I feel wasted a little bit, like all this distance that I've come all to sit at home with my two-year-old and play cars. Was it a I've had enough situation or did it take a number of years? How did you come to the conclusion that you needed to leave that path for a more untraditional path? Yeah it, so I had started I'm sure we'll talk about this later.

Speaker 1:

I had started my holistic journey before COVID started, but it was kind of solidified during COVID at least the direction that I was going with my life, and I saw a lot of the misinformation that was happening. That just wasn't real life, like what people were told on TV was not what was happening in my hospital. I'm sure there were some places where it was really bad. They were laying people off, they were forcing people to get the COVID vaccine or you would lose your job A lot of places. I know that was the case and thankfully I was pregnant with my daughter at the time and so they let me have an exemption for that. And then, just after she was born, I dreaded going back and my husband actually was very encouraging. He's like don't go back, like you're more needed here. It's so stressful for you. Just stay home and be where you're needed. So that was kind of what initiated.

Speaker 1:

Did you experience any guilt or outside pressure from either friends the other friends that were nurses or other family members you mentioned your husband was very supportive, but anyone kind of feeding into the how can you throw away your career or let this dream go? Yeah, honestly, I had a really supportive team my family, my parents, everybody. Not that it was really anybody else's decision to make but me and my husband's, but I think had I talked maybe more about it at the work setting, I would have got more of that, but thankfully most of the pressure was internal. That's so often the case. What has being more present with your kids looked like since leaving health care I had the baby and I didn't come back.

Speaker 1:

For some people I'm sure they would go crazy in the way that we kind of run our day. We are very loose with our schedule, with our planning. So my son is in kindergarten this year and we've done homeschool and it's been a very kind of a carefree year for us to kind of get into homeschool. We've done he's learning some reading and he's, you know, doing some hands-on math and learning cooking and planting a garden and things like that. But most of it has been really like I kind of let him sleep in. I do I let him sleep in until, you know, their bodies are ready to wake up and we have a special morning time together, which kind of goes.

Speaker 1:

And I think that the next question is what maybe wouldn't have fit in my old life. That brings me peace now, and that's my favorite time of the day is first thing in the morning when the kids wake up. They come in bed and we just kind of cuddle and talk about our day and about how they slept and their dreams and you know, just all that sweet little stuff that really only comes with the little years and that wouldn't have, that wouldn't work, if I had to get up and go to work that morning or, you know, had we had a tight schedule to keep. So that's been really enjoyable for us to be able to just kind of do our thing. We have a play date, whatever we want. We go to the zoo whenever we want, but we're constantly learning. It's not like we're never doing anything. The kids are learning to contribute in the household and they're learning honestly. Their imaginations grow every day and I think that's a big part of childhood that is missing the sleeping in part. I'm so looking forward to letting my kids because I have so many memories as a child. Our school was so early, yeah, and my parents, we would literally be chasing the bus. I remember so many times With my car and honking at the bus and seeing a bit of the stuff Poor memories, yeah, one that I'm hoping to not pass on.

Speaker 1:

You also made a big change in moving from city to country setting. Can you tell me more about what prompted that and how that sort of plays into your new vision of what you hope your life is like? So before this, we lived in a suburb with an itty bitty, teeny tiny yard and the kids loved to be outside. They would just dig in a pile of dirt for hours. I think there were several things that kind of prompted it. We had always talked about getting more land One day, one day, one day, and it was kind of one of those things that I never really expected to happen in real life. We would turn 60 and be like, yeah, that's one of those things we never actually followed through with. But my son, his dream was to be a farmer and he just would say, mom, one day, when we have a farm, I want to plant this and this and this. And so it was. Honestly, it sounds silly, but it was kind of our catalyst to take this seriously.

Speaker 1:

They were outgrowing our little itty bitty yard and my daughter I was standing out there one day across the street talking to the neighbor which is like super close and I was watching her. She was crossing the street and this car came speeding down like 50 miles an hour. He saw her and he kept going and she was on a scooter, she was having a hard time crossing and he almost hit her that day. I was like we got to go, we got to get out of here. Honestly, the other neighbor behind us too was smoking weed all day, every day, morning to night, and I didn't even feel like my kids could be right on the other side of the fence, like there's no getting away from that. That's not fair to them, that they can't breathe clean air. If you want to do your own thing at your own time, fine, but it was affecting my family.

Speaker 1:

So we just decided we wanted a different pace of life. We wanted to be a little bit more self-sufficient in our food. We wanted to know what was going on in our food and just be able to do more with our space, to host more. Our house was so tiny we couldn't really have anybody over, and so I think this was kind of just the beginning step for us to grow as a family and take on a new adventure. I really liked how your son prompted that and encouraged you even more with that. And now you became a doula and help moms that want support, extra support during birth. How did you side on that and what do you love about it? That's different from the hospital.

Speaker 1:

So I guess, to make sure that everybody understands what a doula is, it's a relatively new term or a new career, and a doula basically is a non-clinical helper for the mom. Birth coach is another kind of word for it Helping physically, emotionally, educationally, helping the mom make sure that she is fully informed. A lot of people say doulas empower the moms. I like to say doulas help the moms empower themselves, making sure that they understand and they have the time and space to make the decisions that they need Also involves the birth partner. So usually the dad or, if the mom's in the room, the grandma's in the room, even in home birth situations, helping with the kids, helping make sure you explain things to the kids in a way that's not scary to them. All of those things kind of encompass what a doula is.

Speaker 1:

I had a traumatic first birth with my son. He was born at 33 weeks. I felt like nobody listened to me. My husband was working night shift, my water had broken and I knew we were going to be in the NICU. So I told him go home, sleep, because we're going to be here a while. So he did and I knew things were picking up. Things were starting, contractions were starting and nurse after nurse came in and oh, you could be like this for weeks. This is not a big deal, not a big deal, not a big deal. And to the point of I'm in the delivery room telling my mom, who happened to be there with me at the time call my husband, have him come. And the nurse was like no, it's fine, you've got time. And I felt so stupid because of that one nurse. So I was like, ok, well, I guess, give him a little bit more time to sleep, and 15 minutes later my son was born. My husband didn't make it because of that one nurse, and the whole situation surrounding premature birth is pretty traumatizing.

Speaker 1:

I thankfully had the medical background and so I knew more. So what was going on? I honestly wasn't maybe as scared as I should have been. I know my husband was terrified seeing all of the wires and the beeps and the cords and the IVs and everything, and I feel like if we would have had somebody there with us advocating for me or helping me advocate for myself, that whole situation would have gone differently. And so with my second I, I decided I wanted to hire a doula. I had done a lot of my own education as well, which helps tremendously, but I had an excellent, amazing natural birth with her and after my experience with my doula I had it in the back of my head this would be a really cool career, this would be a cool thing to do, but I'm a nurse, so this is a little bit beneath me kind of thing. I was very proud in my thinking I can't go from clinical to non-clinical.

Speaker 1:

And then I had I don't know, maybe a year later I had a friend. My best friend had always been terrified of labor and so after she got married she just didn't want kids and want kids. Well, her husband really wanted kids and she felt that that was something she needed to submit to the Lord, and if he blessed them with kids then she would handle her fears. And so she got pregnant and I had an idea it was at this later end of her pregnancy, honestly, and I was like what if I trained to be your doula and be there with you? I mean, I could train or I could just be there. And she was like that's an awesome idea and we will pay for your training. So go and do the first one you can find. So I did and I got in. It was a virtual course that I took and the next I don't know the next month or so. After that I booked a flight and I was down there the week of her due date and we just prayed that baby would be born that week. Found timing was perfect and it worked out, and so that was kind of the beginning of it all and, honestly, haven't done a lot with it, since Just finding the tiers of child care, like backups to your backup in case somebody's sick or out of town, is a really complicated thing for this phase of life, for me right now, and so I'm kind of just doing friends of friends and word of mouth here and there, friends and family.

Speaker 1:

But as far as what I like about it and what's different, I always when I think about it like this is the part of nursing that I liked the most is being with the people and not having to worry about the beeps and the monitors and the numbers and the charting, like that's the part nobody wants to do and the main part of my job is to be with people and I don't have to worry about any of those things that could cost me a lot down the road if I didn't chart correctly or whatever, and so kind of. After doing it with my best friend, I just realized like this is so much better than what I was doing before and being with you know, obviously things happen, but being with these moms and helping support them in the best days of their life and most important days of their life is just a really special gift to be able to have and to get paid for. It's an extra bonus. That's so special that your first doula client was your best friend that I can't even imagine. Yeah, I think it's so special to have that kind of support. I had someone in my last pregnancy that was not the doula that I hired, but it's a doula I wish I hired. She was doing massage therapy and, honestly, when everything started to unravel and not go the way that I was hoping for just having someone to talk to and the support was a huge thing talk to and the support was a huge thing and even letting me cope, go through with all the difficulties so it's definitely such an intimate, real close friendship type of thing that develops that I think after you do the kinds of, you probably will stay in touch with them for so long because it's such a thing to go through with someone.

Speaker 1:

I know that you have lots of passions and you're also considering other types of serving others and business ideas. When you have so many interests and you can do so many things, but you're also trying to prioritize motherhood and being there, how do you handle that? I can't say I've got it all figured out because it's kind of a daily struggle. I've also got some brain fog and some attention problems and some people cloak it under ADHD or whatever you want to call it and that has, taken, honestly, a lot of my mental and physical energy at this phase of life, and motherhood is especially overstimulating, as every mother knows, no matter what mental state you're in. But I really think that I tend to want to do everything at once and I want to save money, and so let's DIY it, let's, I can do that, I can figure that out. And then I get so overwhelmed with all the projects, all the things I want to do, all the business ideas I have, that I do nothing because I can't peel myself out of bed or off the floor or you know. And so for me it, I think, is involving simplifying. It's not like I can't do all of those things.

Speaker 1:

My idea was to focus on, even for a hobby. I do stained glass, I do pottery, I've done some like mural painting, I've done cake decorating, like all these random things that I'm like I'm gonna be a professional at that and that and I'm gonna make so money and all of it has come down to I get overwhelmed and I burn out, and so I do none of it, but picking one of these things. I'm going to learn how to use a drop spindle and make my own yarn out of wool, and then I'm going to learn how to crochet, and I'm still stuck in that first phase right now. But I think it's a normal part of motherhood to have all these ambitions and then just be so tired that you prioritize your sleep or winding down and relaxing, and then, at the end of the day, your kids are only little for so long, and this feels like eternity in this phase that we're in right now, with little ones who are velcroed to your hip that need you all day, every day, and one day I will wish for this back. I know every old lady in the grocery store tells you the same thing. And my daughter's four all of a sudden. And how did that happen? And so I think I'm maybe hopefully learning that the things that I want to do I don't have to be a martyr about it and be like, oh, I'll prioritize myself last.

Speaker 1:

Oh, woe is me, I'm so poor, like my kids get everything from You're the reason we can't have nice things and is changing that mindset purposefully. And it's, you know, a thought replacing thoughts, or replacing your negative thoughts with a positive spiritual truth. Thankfulness is a big one, and being thankful for this phase of life, whether it's easy or hard, and having small goals, is another thing. For the things that I do want to do and I think a lot of people too, tend to look at the big picture of, oh, I want to be good at this, and then they get again overwhelmed because they don't break it down into smaller steps, and so that's one thing I'm trying to do to focus on one thing at a time and little baby steps so that I don't burn out again. One thing that I've admired from the very first time I met you is you were so honest and you can just be vulnerable and say this is hard and this is hard, and I think sometimes, especially when you're meeting someone new, it's so hard to just say that and everyone's pretending it's all good.

Speaker 1:

And your homeschooling you talked a little bit about homeschooling. Were you homeschooled, or what inspired you to want to homeschool? Honestly, I had always wanted to be homeschooled. When I was a kid, I went to a Christian school and did not do well socially. I did great academically. At the time, I thought I was doing great academically. Now, looking back and knowing the mental struggles that I have just with how I learned, my learning style I think I have probably some auditory processing stuff too, and peer pressure and anxiety like all of those things played a big part in my learning and how I handled school and even though I made good grades, looking back now I see that that was actually a really terrible environment for me to learn.

Speaker 1:

I didn't want my kids either, even in a Christian school. This is how they learn and I do think ADHD is overdiagnosed or undertreated, with the right protocols like changing diet, getting more exercise and things like that before you medicate or before you consider other options. So I didn't want my kids to kind of have to deal with that. In one sense, obviously, there's the sense of having other people teach your children and if you're going to a public school, a Latin the time, they, as a Christian, hate everything I stand for and they're actively trying to weed that out of my children's hearts. And so maybe at the very beginning, when my son was a baby, was something we considered.

Speaker 1:

But as soon as I learned more about the public school system and how they worked and saw the product of the kids coming out learning nothing, hardly being able to read, not being able to look people in the eye when they talk to you, not having any kind of and I saw this in the hospital not having any kind of coping skills whatsoever. I had a, I don't know, he was probably 14. His mom was driving down the highway at 80 miles an hour and he I don't remember what he did but she took away his phone and he was so mad he opened the door and jumped out on the freeway because he was mad, his mom took his phone away and you see things like that over and over and over and that one's just eye-opening to me to see what is coming out of not just the public school in general, but this age, this generation of kids. And so if I believe, if the parents are not very proactive and teaching your kids, diving deep into their heart and their mind and who they are as a person, that they will be lost and have future problems. I mean we have generations of us now who were like oh, all the millennials are anxious and we can't even make a phone call without having a racing heart and we can't answer the doorbell, and why, as a generation, we all have the same symptoms. Well, we were all raised the same way, for the most part, and I think every generation is a reaction of their parents' generations, like a pendulum swing. Oh, I don't want to be like my parents, and so I'm going to do the exact opposite, and I think that there's got to be a happy medium somewhere, and so we're hoping to find that with homeschooling, and I also wanted my kids to learn other things that weren't really being taught in school, like finances and farming and herbalism, like finding a plant. What is this plant? It's not a weed. Maybe it popped up and we didn't plant it, but what is it good for? And it's traditionally used for so many things and it's actually real medicines in the hospital are derived from this plant today. Why don't we just use the plant? Oh, because you can't make money off of wheat. You know it goes so deep and these kids are capable of so much that I think most schools don't even give them a chance to think this way at all.

Speaker 1:

Was your spouse on board with homeschooling right away? Yeah, he was on board because he saw the you know the same thing I did. He was homeschooled and he did not have a great experience. He felt like the way his family did. It was not very supportive of the career that he was aiming towards, which, at the time when he first started out, he had wanted to be a pediatrician and he couldn't get in to the right school because he didn't have the certifications and he ended up working a lot of his high school career. He'd do school in the morning and then work in the afternoon, which is fine and great. Honestly, homeschool doesn't take as long as a traditional school day. Some people don't know that you can get a lot done a lot faster when it's one-on-one. He really wanted to do it a different way and he is still concerned about certifications and tracking classes and courses and credits and things like that.

Speaker 1:

How do you think you will do things differently in terms of what are you hoping to do with your kids in case they do want to pursue a more traditional career? So in the state of Michigan, you do not have to have a curriculum. However, the curriculum that we're looking at using keeps track of the credits for you so that if anybody does ask, you have all the courses that you've taken. You have everything already on a list for you, easy to submit and, from what I understand, from what I've heard from other homeschool moms that are going through the high school phase, it's actually not as big of a deal as maybe it used to be. Homeschooling is a lot more common. So I just recently met someone who is a second-generation homeschooler All three kids so her and her siblings ended up doing Ivy League crazy. Oh, wow, yeah, well, because they're more prepared. Yeah, and apparently a lot of the major universities now have specific spots set aside for homeschoolers because it's way more common and they bring a different perspective to the world and to class.

Speaker 1:

So, with you having so many interests, your kids obviously, as they grow and every year they're going to develop new interests have different types of passions. How do you think you're going to navigate, encouraging those picking things at the same time letting them explore all their different interests? What do you think that's going to look like for your family? Yeah, just my personality, it's going to make that problem more challenging than it would be for other people. How do you choose? There's a thousand things you could have your kid do. He's not going to get to experience them all. So how do you narrow those things down for them so that they can at least see if they like them world of in.

Speaker 1:

There's this girl I know, and she has. I think he's like four or five, but then she also has like three high school kids and every single weekend and day you know, weekdays too they are at basketball, every single, and they do travel. They do, you know, with the school as well. They're paying hundreds of dollars not just for going to the tournament but for hotel stays and all, and this is their life. And I I tend to be again somewhere in the middle that there has to be a balance between giving this kid a fighting chance to be doing the best that they can be.

Speaker 1:

That's something I felt like I I didn't really as a kid, probably because I was so focused on doing a thousand things instead of one. So, for instance, my son is six now. He's super into baseball and I want him to have the chance to pursue that as much as he can. But you know he's never played soccer. He might be great at that, you know, and it's so easy to feel all that mom guilt. It's pervasive in every area of motherhood, I think, from both sides of the. Whatever perspective you're arguing for or against, you're going to have it from externally and internally as well. And I think I've had a few people one of them was maybe on a podcast and just the perspectives and I almost feel like I needed permission from someone to be like it's okay, if your kid doesn't do all the things, he's not going to be scarred, he's not going to have been this NBA player, but he never became an NBA player because he never played like basketball when he was six.

Speaker 1:

Like that is not a burden that we need to carry as moms, and so that's a struggle that I have to kind of balance, reason like what is reasonable for our family right now. Right now we're doing two baseball games a week and that's great. But if my daughter starts tumbling or dance classes and she's going once or twice a week, and that's great. But if my daughter starts tumbling or dance classes when she's going once or twice a week, that's about our limit and that is okay to limit that for your mental health. But also I'm on the mindset now where kids thrive with a slower pace and they do better when they're not go, go, go, go going all the time, and sometimes that's just a choice you might have to make for them on their behalf. If you have bitterness problems when they're an adult, you'll handle that. I think that's.

Speaker 1:

One of the gifts of homeschooling, though, is that you don't miss those eight to 10 hours of commutes and things like that that you typically wouldn't do, so you have more time to explore different things, to let them see what it is that they like, and then I agree with you too, because I'm already there's so many activities in our area that I always think, oh, but he hasn't done that, and right now he's so little that there's not as much, but I also look forward to when, as they grow, they can give you feedback. Right, I actually really love this, as opposed to that to try, yeah, whatever many other things. So one thing that I really wanted to talk about is in terms of when you are more natural-minded, holistic. Sometimes going to hospitals can feel so intimidating, especially if you are going to be declining some of the traditional things. I personally find hospitals so intimidating.

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How do you think, as someone that has been on the other side and also gets the frustration of a parent where you're trying to help them and they're not Right, what's a good way or tips for moms or dads to navigate that I'll stop there. Yeah, I'll say even for me it is an anxiety that I have had when I was working in the hospital. I was not really holistically minded. Maybe towards the very end I was starting to question things. And I question now, if something happened and my husband was out of work or whatever and I needed to get a job like right away that was a steady job. I didn't feel like starting up a business just quite yet what would I do? And if I ever had to go back to the hospital, could my conscience handle giving these kids?

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These medications that I now know have actually not been studied for pediatrics. They've maybe been considered safe in adults and they're used in pediatrics very commonly, but they also have quite significant side effects that are unrelated to this medication that is used all the time, every day and given out like candy. I will say that I really like the direction in general that we're going with things. We're starting to accept more vitamins, like that's a big scary thing. Vitamin C Wow, that's been around forever. It shouldn't be this like weird hippie thing and people are being more open to supplements and things like that.

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Before turning to medication, there's a time and a place for everything. I'm not saying I'm anti-medication because I'm not. I am anti-treat every symptom with a medication when we should be looking for the root cause of things. Healthcare in general, it is so run by insurance companies, by money, by what you were taught in med school, and you just look at the food in the hospital and you see their mindset on nutrition it doesn't matter, and I'm of the mindset that of the complete opposite, that it is everything. Your diet is the building blocks for you are what you eat.

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The beginning of this question was aimed at what moms do, what parents do when they come into the hospital setting and they are overwhelmed by these options and obviously it depends on the situation. It depends on why you're there. If you're there for a trauma, just do the hospital, let them do their thing. They are good at saving kids' lives in that situation. If you have a chronic kid with a chronic health problem, that's a different situation, because you have time to look up these medications. These aren't changing every day. These aren't a short-term medication. A lot of times for these kids, this is something they're going to be on maybe for the rest of their life, and you have time to find alternatives and things like that, and that's something you can handle outpatient for the most part. If you're in a life-saving time. You have an infection, take antibiotics Okay to be crunchy or holistic and go to the hospital and accept treatment While you're there. You can always learn more if there's a specific procedure or whatever. Keep learning.

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How has your faith helped to guide these transitions? And also, as you plan for the future, what role does that play for you? So I'm a believer in God and my faith is everything. It's the foundation of our whole lives, and that is something that's easily lost in real life dealing with a tantrum or dealing with frustrated husband or, you know, being overstimulated and feeling over-touched, and so that is something that every day, we are praying and aiming towards Christlikeness. Obviously, it's not something we can do on our own, and without God's work on the cross, we have no hope for the future in heaven, and that is what gives us hope to continue to, when everything in the world seems to be going wrong, to not give up and continue, because we know the fight is more than just about here and now. It's about eternity, and I am amazed to think about people who try to do all of this alone, without having God on their side, to not just to talk to about things with, but to also have as an ally who is actually.

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Prayer works. Prayer is effective and he always answers. He doesn't always say yes, he doesn't always give us what we want, even what seems fair. Just because bad things happen doesn't mean God isn't good. And that's hard in real life to make with the death of a family member or the loss of a job, but when it comes back down to the baseline of doesn't matter what I feel. It's about what I know to be true, what God has told me. I can be grounded in that. I really love that. I think that's a good encouraging spot to end, because I think that was true for me too, that motherhood was the thing that just drew me back to God so much because it felt so overwhelming, and so I cannot imagine doing motherhood on my own. So thank you so much for your time and for being so willing to share about your journey. I loved it.

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For today's episode takeaways, I have six. One your career is not your identity. Stepping away from a profession that you've worked hard for can feel like an identity crisis, but motherhood can open the door to new callings and deeper purpose. Two perspective changes everything. Working with sick children gave Lauren compassion for parents, but becoming a mom helped her reshape how she connected with families in the hospital. Three slow present living has value, from homeschooling to morning cuddles. Choosing a slower pace allows more connection, creativity and joy in the little years, so savor it. Four you can step into new roles. Transitioning from hospital nursing to becoming a doula shows how skills and passions can evolve into new ways of serving and supporting others.

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Five faith as a foundation. When career paths shift or motherhood feels overwhelming, anchoring in faith provides peace, direction and strength to keep going. And lastly, it's okay to simplify. With many interests, ideas and pressures, sometimes the most freeing choice is to focus on just one small step at a time. That's it for today's episode. Thank you for spending this time with me. I know how valuable your time is and I hope you're walking away feeling encouraged to dream a little bigger about what's possible for your work and family life. If this episode spoke to you, it would mean so much if you shared it with another mom who needs this kind of encouragement. Make sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode and if you want to keep the conversation going. Connect with me on LinkedIn. Just search Emilia Cotto. That's E-M-I-L-I-A, c-o-t-o. Until next time, remember, motherhood isn't the end of your dreams, it's just the beginning.