Little Hands, Big Plans - Motherhood and Business

Hospital Physician to Direct Primary Care and Homeschool Mom

• Emilia Coto • Season 1 • Episode 12

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Dr. Lyndsi Davenport—a physician, homeschooling mom, and woman of deep faith—whose story is a powerful reminder that motherhood isn’t the end of ambition, it’s the beginning of something deeper. Dr. Lyndsi left behind a thriving academic medical career at a major hospital to follow a calling she could no longer ignore.

Her story challenges the notion that motherhood limits professional success, showing instead how it can lead to more meaningful and purposeful work.

We discussed:

• Transitioning from hospital-based medicine to direct primary care
• Balancing early motherhood with demanding physician schedules
• Finding faith during career transitions and family building
• Understanding direct primary care's benefits for both doctors and patients
• Discovering hybrid homeschooling as a solution for working professionals
• Redefining success beyond traditional career achievements
• Taking the leap of faith to follow your calling despite fears

To learn more about Dr. Davenport, you can enroll as her patient at https://paradox.health/ or you can follow her on instagram at https://www.instagram.com/drlyndsidavenport/


If this episode resonated with you, please share it with another mom who needs encouragement. Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and connect with me on LinkedIn.

For other episodes and resources, visit our website at https://littlehandsbigplans.co/pages/podcast

Emilia :

What if the biggest lie we've been told is that motherhood will hold us back from a meaningful career? In today's episode, I'm joined by Dr Lindsay Davenport, a physician, a homeschooling mom and a woman of deep faith, whose story is a powerful reminder that motherhood isn't the end of ambition. It's the beginning of something deeper. Dr Lindsay left behind a thriving academic medical career at a major hospital to follow a calling she could no longer ignore. Her courage to trade prestige for presence and hustle for wholeness will leave you rethinking what's possible for your own life. Welcome to Little Hands Big Plans the podcast for moms who want to reimagine work after kids and build a life where family comes first, without giving up your dreams.

Emilia :

I'm Emilia and I know firsthand how much motherhood shifts our careers, our priorities and our pace. But instead of seeing it as a setback, what if we saw it as an invitation, an opportunity to design a life with a little more freedom, a little more presence and a little more fulfillment? Each week, we'll have honest conversations with moms who've shaped their work and business around what truly matters. Whether you're considering a career pivot, dreaming of a slower pace or just wondering what's possible, you're in the right place. So grab a little something warm, settle in and let's explore the possibilities together. I want to talk about your career in academic medicine and what that looked like in that season. What motivated you, how that started.

Dr. Lyndsi:

Yeah. So I have wanted to be a doctor since I was about four or five years old. I told my mom that I wanted to be a doctor and it's really just been this lifelong dream if not a calling of mine, of like it really felt like it was the only thing I was really supposed to do on earth. I guess, as far as like my career or my goal, I've always wanted to be a physician, and so when my uncle was diagnosed with cancer, I was 17 and he had ulcerative colitis really bad and I ended up getting a diagnosis of Crohn's disease.

Dr. Lyndsi:

So we have a huge autoimmunity in our family and so that was another motivator for me and I originally wanted to be a gastroenterologist, and so my love for academia and research came from all of that with our family and our genetic links and all of the autoimmune diseases we had in the family. So that's how I decided on academics and teaching, and then, when I was in residency, you start teaching in residency. You have medical students and interns underneath you and it's our job, as we progress from intern to second year to third year, to teach your juniors, and I loved that, and so right outside of residency, I pretty much went right into teaching Wow.

Emilia :

And you were at a major hospital for the start of your career.

Dr. Lyndsi:

right yeah, at a major hospital for the start of your career right, yeah, so not a large academic institution like you think of University of Michigan or Cleveland Clinic, but it was a community teaching hospital. So I was at Ascension Genesis, which is now Henry Ford. That's where I did my third and fourth year of medical training and then I did my residency there and that's where I taught and I worked there for a few years and then I became the clinic director for internal medicine at McLaren Oakland, which is another local community hospital. That's a bigger teaching hospital. So each of those facilities has medical students, multiple different residencies, and we took medical students from MDs, dos and some of the Caribbean schools, so we had a big conglomerate of students and residents to teach.

Emilia :

And how did you go about planning for kids throughout that period? When did you decide the timing was right and how did your beliefs about motherhood play into that planning?

Dr. Lyndsi:

So originally, as I mentioned a couple minutes ago, my plan was to be a gastroenterologist, which is another three years of training after residency. So you do four years of medical school, three years of internal medicine residency and then a fellowship would be another three years, which is why I chose internal medicine. I actually loved the clinic and loved family medicine, but I chose internal because that's how you specialize. Internal medicine is like the basis for specialties. So during my residency is when I met my husband and we started dating during my intern year. We got engaged during my second year and then we planned our wedding, actually for my first year as an attending.

Dr. Lyndsi:

During this time of getting to know him and thinking like gosh, I am really ready to settle down and we wanted to start a family pretty much right away when we got married, I chose not to go into gastroenterology. I learned during my residency that I was really meant for the clinic. I love outpatient. I loved connecting with people and forming relationships and really being able to be a family doctor like a jack of all trades. You really can see people at all stages and ages of their life and be a big advocate for them, and I love to chat with people and form those relationships. So that's how my career shifted a little bit, even right from the beginning, thinking about I want to start a family and I don't want to do another three years of training, yeah, Wow.

Emilia :

And then so, when do you? How does maternity leave and all of that work in the role that you were in? And did you? How did you plan? For example, did, did you? Did you plan that your son was going to go to daycare after did you get a nanny? How does that all?

Dr. Lyndsi:

work, so our story is a little bit unique in that way. So when I we got married in 2017 so that was my first year as an attending I was turning 31 that summer and then I got pregnant pretty much like two months after our wedding, so it was quicker than we anticipated. Being in medicine, you hear all the time, oh, infertility. Infertility for women physicians is so high you should even like freeze your eggs and delay, and it's crazy that the narrative that we're taught in medicine from the beginning of, like you're going to have to outsource, you're not going to be that present for your baby, you should. I already had in my mind like, okay, I chose this career. I spent my entire 20s chasing this dream and I am going to miss things in my kids' lives, and that was just the realization that I had just come to terms with. So when we started to try and at that time I was working in academics so our lives were a little bit different my husband had a full time desk job. We had a dog, so like he would go to doggy daycare, but we didn't have a lot of other responsibilities, and so there were days and weeks where I worked seven days and that is what I went back to from maternity leave with my son. I went back to a hospital seven-day shift.

Dr. Lyndsi:

So maternity leave as an internal medicine working for the hospital, we get six weeks for a vaginal delivery and eight weeks for a C-section. Because of my Crohn's disease I did have a C-section, so I got that extra two weeks and then I actually used some PTO to take 10 weeks total. But that was almost even discouraged. We have to use all of our PTO in the hospital per year, like short-term disability, before you can even like take any FMLA. So all of that was just new to me of like, okay, how much unpaid leave and do I really want to burn all my PTO? As a new mom who I'm going to have a baby who might get sick and then if I have no PTO I can't take vacation, I can't take any sick days. So we decided to leave some of my PTO and go back at 10 weeks, which was so hard. You get that first one.

Emilia :

I can tell yeah.

Dr. Lyndsi:

And childcare was really nice, though. My mom had arranged to watch our children, so she was ready and had stepped back as her role as a physical therapy assistant and came in and worked four days a week for me, and then my mother-in-law did a day, so we had family to watch our baby, so he didn't have to go to daycare.

Emilia :

Wow, can you share what was it like to go back with an infant that young, and did you have any fears about your baby getting sick? There's just so many things at that age.

Dr. Lyndsi:

Yeah. So the nice thing was that he was at home, so that was always comforting to me. But at that time we lived in Rochester and I drove to Grand Blanc or Flint every day, so I had almost an hour drive. So there were days when, especially for those hospital shifts, I would get up and leave and pump and leave a bottle and not even see him in the morning. And then on a long clinic day or a long rounding day, I would get home at 7 or 8 pm and he would already be in bed. So I remember just like sneaking into his bedroom while he was asleep and like crying and dream feeding him, because I didn't get to see him all day.

Dr. Lyndsi:

So it was really tough. Again, I was comforted that we had our family to take care of him, but it was a very hard transition. I had so much guilt and it's a time where I felt like, okay, I'm a physician and I wanted this, but I don't love this anymore. I felt very burnt out. You feel like you're burning the candle on both ends and like I didn't have the time, like I missed him rolling over for the first time and all those things that you want to be there for with your baby. I didn't worry about sickness as much just because I'm an internist and so we don't see a lot of kiddos. Because I'm an internist and so we don't see a lot of kiddos being in the hospital. I saw more of like heart failure and strokes and AFib and infections, but more like bacterial infections that put someone in the ICU. So it was a little bit different in that regard, but it was very tough.

Dr. Lyndsi:

And then I had a lot of pushback from my pump breaks. So being in the clinic, so the way that my job worked is I spent three weeks every month in the clinic and one week in the hospital. So when I was in the office there were residents that were depending on me and so my pump breaks were kind of like I was expected to work during that time and I remember not being able to even get a lot of output in those first couple of weeks because I was trying to like do notes and take phone calls and staff patients while I'm pumping and I really had to advocate for, like you know what, nope, I need 30 minutes to myself in this room with no interruptions. And my boss was a female and she had babies and she breastfed.

Dr. Lyndsi:

So it was very frustrating to get pushed back on like needing that time, but that's the way that it worked out and it all worked out. It was a very busy time. I wasn't working out, I was just kind of like surviving. At that point my son did a lot of I think they call it reverse cycling, where they want to nurse all night long because they miss you, and so he would be awake every one to two hours for the first six months of his life nursing, and so it was just a very sleep deprived, challenging time for that first year.

Dr. Lyndsi:

That's so hard but also so sweet that he was still figured out how to get that yes, how to get his time with mommy I was talking to my residents and we were doing management for an infection and anyway, I told them the wrong antibiotic, like one that we would never use, and I'm like oh my gosh, that's wrong. I think I knew it was wrong, but I was so tired that I couldn't even. So it was, it was, they were long, long days At what point?

Emilia :

or was there any? Was there? Was it a long period of reflection of you thinking I'm going to make a shift from this, or was there a moment where you said no after this, for example, that where you would say I'm going to shift the way that my career is going to a life that I can enjoy more? Not that you weren't enjoying life, but I guess spending more time with your kid yeah.

Dr. Lyndsi:

So it took a while. So when my son was one I got pregnant with our daughter and then that's when I transitioned to McClaren Oakland. So that new job was clinic director. It was 100% outpatient, which promised more quality of life. So when you're rounding in the hospital once a month, that could be that's weekends. I was on call a lot. That would also be holidays, depending.

Dr. Lyndsi:

We all had to take our turn and so I thought that doing that next transition, it kept me in academics. I actually, when my daughter turned one, I did an academic medicine fellowship. So my mind was still very much on staying in academics. It's what I had focused on my whole life. I loved to teach and I thought pivoting to 100% outpatient role that would give me what I was looking for. And so right before she I hired in.

Dr. Lyndsi:

When I was pregnant with her, about five months before she was born, and originally that was great. I loved the lifestyle. It was nine to five, Sometimes we were even done at two or three. I had my weekends off, I didn't have any holiday call, and so it felt a little more like balance. But then corporate medicine is very tough and so the more you give, the more they take, and it just felt like there was never enough, right? I was supposed to have eight hours of admin time, but that got eaten up and that could be at home. That could be my kid flex that time, however I wanted. And so for me I wanted that to be I work four days and I have one day at home, and that was just never how it worked out. And so then your day of clinic turns into 12 to four and you're like, okay, your half day of clinic turns into 12 to 4. And you're like, okay, that's not really. Or 9 to 4, you're like that's not really a half day. I got an hour early and so they ended up getting rid of my partner and I was running a residency clinic by myself with 15 training doctors plus all of the medical students, and that's when I was like I just can't sustain this.

Dr. Lyndsi:

And then COVID hit during that time, and so it really opened my eyes to some of the big shortcomings and failures in modern medicine, of I was basically told that primary care isn't important. They furloughed our office, completely, shut it down for four weeks. So the nice thing was I got all that time with my kids, but I was asked to work for free, Like they're like you can't come in but you still have to take care of your patients, and at that time we were on paper charts. It was just a nightmare, and so that was the turning point for me where I was like something has got to change. And so in that was in 2020, into 2021.

Dr. Lyndsi:

And then I in 2021 is when I reached out to my now partner, Dr Hellman. I had been talking to my husband a lot about direct primary care. I now partner Dr Hellman. I had been talking to my husband a lot about direct primary care. I think this really fits. It's a newer model of medicine and it's basically like affordable concierge medicine and we can talk about that a little bit more. But that was where I was like I think I want to make this transition and it took a little while of like having the thought it was like all from like the middle of 2020. I didn't make that leap until like the end of 2021. So it was like over a year of me hearing this calling from God and this like you should be at home more. This is what we need to do. But it took me a while to actually obey and listen to that call.

Emilia :

What were the biggest fears or barriers that you felt in making that transition?

Dr. Lyndsi:

Well, one is I felt like I was giving up on a lifelong dream. Right, I had always wanted to be academic. I had spent money and time to do the fellowship I loved to teach and I felt a lot of guilt leaving my patients and my students and my residents. That was really hard to walk away from, that something that I worked so hard for for so long, and I also had a lot of fear of the unknown. Direct primary care was basically like an eat what you kill model, and so I was going to take a very big pay cut.

Dr. Lyndsi:

But at the end of the day it came down to like what is your time worth?

Dr. Lyndsi:

Right, when do you want to be and what fills your cup? And how can you make a fulfilling career in medicine, work around your goals and plans and motherhood, and this was just the way that I just I can't say anything other than like it was just the Lord telling me like this is what you need to do. And so my husband was also very nervous, but it just worked out that he had a new job. He had been a consultant starting right around the time that our son was born. He had a work from home consulting job. So he did travel, but he was home a lot and he had just gotten a raise, and so the timing worked out perfect. I'm like OK, I think we can do this. I didn't have to take out any loans to join the practice that I did, and so I was like all right, we're just going to take this leap of faith and I'm going to be obedient and listen and see where that takes us, and it has been the best transition. I'm so happy.

Emilia :

It's funny when you actually just like listen to what the Lord is calling you to do, how things just fall into place Totally. And for someone that might not be familiar with what direct primary care is, because I hadn't heard of it until a couple years ago, can you tell us about what it's like and specifically how it works?

Dr. Lyndsi:

Yeah, so direct primary care is in the easiest way, like affordable concierge medicine, and so our patients pay a monthly membership fee. They have unlimited access to us. They can text, call, stop in, come and get fizzy water from the office or whatever, and that's all included in their membership. We also have wholesale pharmaceuticals in the office, so we have a pharmacy of all generic medication. So if you're sick, we always have same day visits or maybe next day, but you come in we can put an ultrasound on you instead of sending you for an x-ray and then you leave with your antibiotic, and so everything is like a one-stop shop. We try to do a lot more personalized medicine and we have a lot more time with our patients because our panels are much smaller. So we don't accept insurance, it's all cash-based. And because I don't accept insurance, I don't have to deal with all of the prior authorizations and oh, you must put this in your note for billing and all of the like. See 30 to 40 patients a day.

Dr. Lyndsi:

That was happening to me in the system. I got to have an hour with my new patients instead of 15 minutes. I could actually practice preventive medicine and weight loss and exercise and nutrition and all of the things that I'm so passionate about and what fills my cup in medicine that I couldn't do in, especially in a residency clinic where most of our patients are Medicare or Medicaid and they're so sick and they're so medically underserved that like they don't even know what a carbohydrate, protein and fat is and I don't have the time to explain it to them and it just felt like I was constantly just like drowning in that system. So DPC really allows you the freedom and the flexibility to increase the quality of care that you provide to your patients, because you have more time and you mentioned that you're passionate about women's health and preventative care and exercise, so I've experienced it myself as being your patient.

Dr. Lyndsi:

But also can you share a little bit about some of the things that you are able to work with your patients that in a traditional insurance model would be very difficult to do and their beliefs and formulate a plan that's like okay, here we can go through and calculate what your intake should be, as far as how many grams of fat and protein and carbs, and what do you like to do for workouts and how can we maximize your time and we can just get to know each other on such a deeper level and I have the time to formulate plans and focus on all of those little tiny aspects where, like, sure, we want wanna do that in the conventional model, but I would have 15 to 20 minutes and half of that visit is taken up by the medical assistant rooming the patient and getting vitals. And then I have five, 10 minutes to be like okay, how you doing? Oh, yep, your diabetes is not great. Well, here's a handout on nutrition that I'd like you to read and I'll see you next month. Right, there was not that time to be like what is a day-to-day diet look like, whereas now I can sit down and be like okay, walk me through a day, what is your schedule like and what are your preferences and what do you like to eat and how can we work with your current situation to make it work for you?

Dr. Lyndsi:

Because I think that that that is the, the holy grail of making long-term change right. It's like being able to take and meet somebody where they are and make that work for their life. Because if I put you on a diet, anybody can give you a diet, but if it's not something that you like or it's not something that works for you, you're not going to follow it right. So I think that is just the bigger the opportunity, like I also have the time to be able to dive into things that I'm passionate about. That we weren't taught in medical school. So nutrition and exercise and osteoporosis treatment and hormone replacement and menopause, perimenopause none of that was with the focus of my training. I had to educate myself on all of that, and so now that I have extra time, I can listen to podcasts and read books and do all that research that I need to do to be able to offer the best practices to my patients.

Emilia :

And now it sounds like it's the best of both worlds because you can offer so much to your patients, and it sounds like you're also able to offer so much more for your kids and for your family and to be at home more. So what is a typical week and how do you balance? Are you working full time hours, still part time? How do you make it all work?

Dr. Lyndsi:

So technically I am, I guess I would say, full time. We don't really get paid by the hour like I used to, you know, and have to have a salary like a 40 to 60 hour work week. So my schedule right now I work on Monday and Thursday the full day because my kiddos are in a hybrid homeschool program which I think we'll talk about. So I work the full day while they're in school and then on Tuesday and Wednesday I work half days and I spend the mornings with them doing their schooling. And I take Fridays off most of the time Now because I am available to my patients via text email.

Dr. Lyndsi:

Sometimes I will have work to do on those times where I'm quote unquote off, but it's so rewarding because if I need to, I can we. We use Calendly as a scheduling and so I can set my hours for whatever, like if I need to be off early for a day to go to a program at my kiddo's school, or if they have a doctor's appointment, it's very easy for me to just block that time and not schedule a patient during that time, and it hasn't been a problem at all. All of my patients are lovely and I they really have just been so understanding of my need and desire to be a present mom and I have so much more time with my kids. I never, ever thought If you would have told me when my son was born seven years ago that I would be in the position that I'm at today, I would have laughed in your face Like I never thought this kind of freedom and flexibility was possible with a medical career. Do you think?

Emilia :

that doctors that are, because I know the direct primary care model is growing more and more. Do you think that people that are graduating from school now know that that's a viable option, or do you think it's still something that is harder to find, that you have to search it out like you did to go into that?

Dr. Lyndsi:

I think it's definitely growing in popularity and visibility. The Direct Primary Care Alliance, dpca, is the kind of like governing board that we all they put on our conferences and everything, and they're doing a really good job of reaching out to medical students and residents and saying, hey, there's another way you don't have to be a pin in the cogwheel of just like turning out patients for insurance profit Because you're really working for a big brother at that point. Right Like you, nobody in the system gets to practice exactly the way they want to and there are some specialties and careers where that's not completely the case. Right, but even like my OBGYN, I had my visit with her last week and she's like I literally don't get to practice medicine. I'm told what to do and how to do my job by hospital administrators and insurance companies and it's really taken a lot of the art out of the practice of medicine and so I know that a lot of specialty.

Dr. Lyndsi:

It is harder to break into this as a specialist because, especially for surgical subspecialties, right Like patients, when they already have insurance, have a hard time swallowing the pill of. Like ooh, I would pay cash for a procedure that my insurance would otherwise cover. But I think. Once people start to realize what a scam traditional health insurance is, they start to really value paying for higher value and higher quality care like a direct primary care physician.

Emilia :

Yeah, that was one of the things that attracted me the most to the practice that it wasn't insurance run, because we had traditional insurance for the birth of my first and then we had health sharing for the second one, like a Christian health sharing, and it was such a different I felt there was so much more autonomy and being able to choose providers, how I wanted to be cared for during that time, even though I ended up in the hospital with a hospital birth.

Dr. Lyndsi:

So absolutely Like, I have patients that come in and they're like I was paying a $10,000 deductible and $2,000 a month for my marketplace insurance because they're a small business owner. And then they find out oh, there's a DPC health care option. Oh, I have this option to offer direct primary care to my employees. Oh, I can do a health share and pour into this and share into this ministry with other citizens, instead of throwing my money away into this big insurance company. So once people realize that that exists, I think it really does change their dynamic and their thinking of traditional insurance and health care in general. But there's a way to go until it's mainstream for sure.

Emilia :

What led your family to choose homeschooling? It's mainstream for sure. What led your family to choose homeschooling? And I'm curious if it was something after you were in this model, or if you, for example, when you were at the hospital, were you still planning to homeschool at the time, and how was that going to work?

Dr. Lyndsi:

Yeah, so my schooling was something I started to think about from a very young age with my son, which is silly. When we first had kids, I was still very much in that education is so important and we wanted the best. I actually toured his first preschool when he was 18 months old. Isn't that ridiculous?

Emilia :

I can identify.

Dr. Lyndsi:

Well, my husband and I are very high achievers. I'm a physician, he is a mechanical engineer that does nuclear, and so we're both very educated people and we value that. But the more we started to learn about the traditional education system, and then especially having a boy and I know that sounds so cliche but my son is very different than my daughters. I have a son who's seven, and I have a five-year-old daughter and a two-year-old daughter, and my girls will sit and color and look at a book and be entertained that way for a while, and my son just needs more physical movement. He doesn't vibe well with just things, and so from the very beginning we were looking for something that would offer a challenging academic situation, and in the beginning homeschool was not even a thought. We were going to always pursue private education, and so we had started looking into options like that. So my son actually got into Roper for preschool, which is a school for gifted kiddos, and that was our plan. And then, I don't know, I just had this like wake up moment of like I don't think this is right, this is not a good fit for us, and so, right before he was supposed to go, we enrolled him in our parish preschool at St Joseph in Lake Orion and that was a godsend. He thrived there. He did so well. We just did two half days when he was three and then three full days when he was four, and then my daughter also did preschool there. And so Catholic education was our focus at the point when they had first started. Because I worked full time and even though I liked the idea of homeschooling, I was like I can't, I can't make that work. And so our, our, our focus was like okay, at least they're, they're getting their formation and their catechism and they're in this group of like I like the religious aspect in their schooling focused on.

Dr. Lyndsi:

And then when my son was in kindergarten it was horrible. So I don't know if my son is gifted or not. It doesn't really matter to us. We've never had him tested, but I've had pediatricians and teachers tell me that he probably is. He's very smart. But along that line comes a lot of challenges sometimes. So those kiddos are very easily frustrated. They have perfectionist tendencies. They don't do well when things don't go their way and he has a hard time, like when he's bored.

Dr. Lyndsi:

He was a five-year-old boy right Like he wanted to play and he wanted to interact with his peers and so he would get done with his work and then he would just be sitting around getting in trouble. So kindergarten was terrible. Within the first three weeks of kindergarten we were told by the principal that it might not be at the school for us. Now, mind you, this is the church that my husband was baptized in, confirmed in, did his Holy Communion, like everything. We have been going to this church forever, and so to have the new principal say that about my five-year-old boy three weeks into school, that's when everything changed.

Dr. Lyndsi:

I basically I struggled to keep him in that year. We he had his tonsils out in January and I was going to pull him in January and just figure it out, but we ended up sticking out the year. And so throughout that first year when he was in kindergarten is when I started really deep diving into home education. That is when I had already made the transition. So I was working direct primary care but I was still working my academic medicine job part-time so that I had some income while my DPC practice grew. So work was actually still very busy at that point because I was working in two offices. So yeah, I did a lot of research that year when he was in kindergarten, and we did a lot of soul searching and found classical Catholic homeschool education with a hybrid model that just fit perfectly with our life.

Emilia :

What surprised you the most once you found the hybrid, first of all, for people that aren't familiar with how a hybrid homeschooling setup works, can you go over that? And then also what you've loved about it and maybe any challenges as well.

Dr. Lyndsi:

Yeah, so homeschooling at first felt very daunting because I was like, how do I pick a curriculum and what am I going to do when I work and what are my options? And so I started to do research and I joined Facebook groups and mom groups and just started asking questions and looking at curriculums and I'm also pretty type A. So it was like what if I make the wrong choice? But then I realized if I make the wrong choice, then we can just, we can pivot, we can make a different choice, right. There really wasn't like it wasn't as serious as I was making it out to be, as far as like making a mistake, right. So we looked seriously into hybrids. I had looked at a couple that were more secular and the thing that really turned me off from that is that they followed a lot of public school curriculum and that was always a no-go for us. It's very important to me that my kids have that theological background and the formation in their education. I don't really agree with some of the principles that are being taught in public school and that's just a very personal choice for us, but I didn't want that as part of their education. So that really turned me off. And then, actually, one of my patients mentioned hey, we do a homeschool hybrid and it's classical and it's Catholic and we're doing a tour next week and you should come. And I walked into that building and just felt the Holy Spirit and I told my husband I was like this is it? This is where we're meant to be I just know I'm getting teary even talking about it, but like, this is where God meant us to be and it has just been the perfect role for our family. So hybrid education means that our kids go to school too, and hybrids are slightly different. They're either two or three days a week, so for us it's two days and then the whole curriculum is planned out.

Dr. Lyndsi:

Our hybrid is nationally recognized and accredited. It's all over the country, and so they will graduate with an accredited diploma. It goes from pre-K-3 all the way through 12th grade, and so this is something that we can continue for their whole life. And it is classical learning certified, and so the kiddos take the classical learning exams instead of like the, even like the Catholic I don't remember I think it was star testing that they did at the Catholic school. So it has an emphasis on Socratic method, discussion, English literature and the arts, they learn Latin. It had everything that I was looking for, but it also gives me the ability to do both, so I get to work and be present with my patients when my kids are in school and then, because of my job and the flexibility I have in the office, I get to be fully present with them in the mornings and do their schoolwork.

Dr. Lyndsi:

And what surprised me the most was the amount of time that it took. That was one of the most daunting things is like how do I fit all of this education when you think about, my son was in kindergarten from 8 in the morning until 4 pm and so little of that is actually spent on education. There's so much wasted time and they can only teach to the brightest, to the bottom of the barrel, right, Like they teach to the basic minimum. And so there was. So it was so eye-opening where, like we would sit down with a curriculum and we could do our math and our reading and our phonics and the big basic stuff and his religion and be done in an hour, hour and a half and we still had time to just play. So I have little feral free range kids who are running around on our property now and playing, and we spend about an hour to two hours a day on school.

Emilia :

It's amazing how did they adjust? Because I've heard that sometimes when they start in the more traditional model and then switch, there can be a bit of an adjustment period. How did you? Was it easy because they were so young, or how did that go?

Dr. Lyndsi:

Yeah, my son definitely had the biggest transition, I would say, because he had done a full year in kindergarten.

Dr. Lyndsi:

The thing that he missed the most was just the other things of school, right, like he missed going to the library and recess with his friends. The one downside to our hybrid program is that most Catholic churches have their own school and so we do our hybrid at a Baptist church. It's beautiful, the facility is great, but there is no playground and so it's not a traditional school, right. So he did miss that aspect of like the specials and going out for recess and things and having a bigger class, because the homeschool hybrids are innately smaller, so there's only eight kiddos in his class. But he has adjusted phenomenally. We love the families and the teachers at our school are other homeschooling mamas and so, like his teacher, this year she has 10 kids. She is fantastic. She's just like the ultimate mom and she was so great with my son Last year.

Dr. Lyndsi:

We had a behavioral folder and he was always in trouble and I feel like he just had, like this red X on his back of like from the very beginning they were just out for him and I know that that probably altered perception on my part just because of like how I felt in you you become mama bear with your kiddo, but this year we didn't get one single problem. He didn't, he survived and I just it has just been the best for us. So he did have a little bit of a transition, just like missing some of that after school activities and things that we had in the traditional school setting. But with the hybrid they love to be at home, they love that they have more free time, they get to sleep in multiple days a week and at our hybrid program we still have specials, so there are still like new music, they do Latin, like I said, they do PE and they do drama, and so they still have their afternoon filled with like kind of the specials that they would have gotten at school or traditional school.

Emilia :

And I can only imagine the friendships that are going to form with having the smaller classes and having the values that are also shared amongst the families as well.

Dr. Lyndsi:

So we are surrounded with families and, for me, women who are on the same journey. There's actually other two other physician moms One is a naturopathic doctor and one is an OBGYN who are doing this too, and so to meet other professionals who are in the same field. We all have the same values and I know that when I drop my kids off there, that they are safe and they are loved and they are cared for and it's just yeah, it's the best feeling having that community.

Emilia :

You shared that motherhood deepened your relationship with Christ. I was wondering if you could share about what that has looked like in your life, Because it sounds like from the beginning you were already on that path because you were looking for a Catholic education. But if you could just share what that has looked like for you.

Dr. Lyndsi:

So I've always been Christian. I was raised going to church and I had a very strong faith as a child and even like into high school I would take. Some of my dual enrollment time was with Bible study and I was always in youth group and all that. And then college is a time of transition for most people, I think, and I never stopped believing, but I definitely was not active in my faith, especially during medical school, and that was a time where I just I could feel that void.

Dr. Lyndsi:

When you stray away from Christ and you're like, okay, I know that I'm like not not living, you just feel like something is missing. And yeah, my husband also. So he's a cradle Catholic. He was raised Catholic and went through confirmation and everything, and then he also had gotten away from the church. He was a nuclear engineer, so he was traveling all over the country all the time and so he didn't even have a home really. So he didn't have a home, parish or anything, he was just all over the place. And so after our marriage is when I was like I just feel like something is missing. And so that's when we turned back to the church and started to go back to church, and I actually am not Catholic yet. That is something that I've been praying on a lot, but I knew that Warren was raised that way and I love the deep traditions and the values that are in the Catholic church and we are very pro-life, and so it just the more I prayed on it, I was like, okay, I think this fits, like I had been thinking about doing conversion and so I actually am signed up to start my OCIA conversion in September of this year. It's a commitment that I've been thinking about for a few years. You have to go every week and I had three little kids and a traveling husband, so it's like I don't know if I'm going to make that work.

Dr. Lyndsi:

But as I became a mother, I realized that it is just. It went from being like, oh, work is my main focus and my calling and my role is, like I mentioned earlier, was to be a physician, and after I had my children I was like motherhood does not take away. It didn't make me less of a physician, it didn't make me less of a woman. It fulfills me in a way that I have never, ever been fulfilled before and this is my highest calling. Like that is what I was actually put here to do and everything else needs to be second around that. And so once I started to put God first again and really give the stress and everything away and, just like, make prayer a focus, my entire life changed for the better.

Dr. Lyndsi:

I have so much less stress, like I mentioned earlier, about being obedient and making the change with my career, and then the homeschooling thing I felt like was another calling. And once I just followed the Lord's guidance of like this is what you're supposed to be doing, like I just I couldn't ignore it. It was like that voice, that nagging voice in your head of like you need to do this, you need to do this, you need to do this, you need to do this, you need to do this, and I couldn't explain it to my husband in any other way of like this is God talking to me, like we need to do this. And since I have, like I'm telling you it's a complete 180. I'm the happiest that I've literally ever been.

Dr. Lyndsi:

I mean, obviously we still have our stresses and motherhood can be trying and homeschooling is also sometimes very frustrating when the kids don't want to listen to you because you're their mother, not their teacher. When I wake up with gratitude, like I can find good in every single day all the time because I wake up and I give it to God right, like I can pray on that I can. If I'm having a bad day, like he can turn it around. And it's so fun to share that with my kids too, like they're getting their faith formation in school and we also just get to be. You know we have that as a family. I take them to mass a lot on Friday mornings. That's the one that's geared more towards kiddos, and so it's just it's so awesome to see their little relationships. Like our two year old is starting to learn the sign of the cross and she'll start to say her blessings. And the other day she did something and she was like praise God, and it's just.

Emilia :

It's been just the best to to come back and hearing you speak, I can relate so much because it's similar.

Emilia :

I felt that going through law school.

Emilia :

It was also really hammered into think about if you have girls and they say that if you're raised by by a working mom, then your child is more likely to be a high achiever too, and it seemed like such an important thing.

Emilia :

But the way that you're living your life and the way that I've chosen to structure my practice, I feel like that's more fulfilling. That's more, at least for me personally. That has been my experience that I don't want the example to be that you have to outsource a lot of things that bring you joy in your life, and motherhood is one of those For me. It sounds like it is for you as well, and it's something that the example that you were able to give your kids. Now I feel like it's so special and it's so. It took risk and you had to leave the traditional path, but it just sounds like it's going to be something that you can't just tell someone, that they have to experience it, and your kids are going to grow up living that way and being able to imagine that for themselves better than if you hadn't made those choices.

Dr. Lyndsi:

Yeah, it's amazing again to see just the shift that I have made in my personal and professional and faith journey from 2017, when I was pregnant with my son, to now. It's so special to be able to have that time with them and they're only little what's, and you feel it too as the mom. It's just different. I can't imagine not having that connection that I do with my kiddos. I'm the preferred parent for all three of my children and that comes with a lot of its own risk and reward, because you know when they're hurt and they're scared and they're sad, they want their mom, but it's the best feeling to be able to be that for them.

Dr. Lyndsi:

And I just feel like my cup is full in all of the ways. I get to focus on myself and have time to exercise, but also give my full self to them and have time with my patients. And I just never thought that I would have this completeness in life and I definitely would not have had that if I wouldn't have listened to the Lord and made the switch and I could have ignored that voice that was telling me you don't have to stay in corporate medicine. I could have stayed and voice that was telling me like you don't have to stay in corporate medicine, like I could have stayed and just been burnt out and miserable and spent no time with my kids and I'm so thankful that he kind of like picked me up and put me on this path that I'm supposed to be on.

Emilia :

What would you say to the woman who believes that she has to choose between a meaningful career and being present for her children, between a meaningful career and being present for her children? How would you help this person that's considering both paths discern what the right?

Dr. Lyndsi:

path is for them. Yeah, I think the biggest thing for me was praying on it and giving it to God, but I also think that it starts with rejecting what society tells you that a woman is, or what society tells you that you have to be. I think the biggest lie that has been fed, and the biggest gaslight, I guess, of women has been that, like you, can't be a good mom and have a fulfilling vocation outside of your home, and if your calling is that your vocation is inside your home, right, making that choice and just being like this is what's best for us at this time, and me being here to raise my own children is where I'm supposed to be. That's okay too. And so walking away from what society has told you you have to be, I think it's just something that you have to be okay with. But that's the first step.

Dr. Lyndsi:

I had to be okay with walking away from a fellowship that I did from years and years and years of preparation for a career, and I didn't give up my career completely, but I had to walk in faith of making this change is going to work for us and for my family, and I had that faith, and then you have to be willing to just be flexible and pivot if things don't go your way and just trust that it's all perfect in God's time. Because if I would have tried to make this transition before I did, I don't think it would have worked out the way that it did. So just everything is perfect in God's time.

Emilia :

Just listen to that voice and have the faith, I think, is the biggest thing. I was thinking that I was thinking what you said before you said it about how perfect God's timing always is and how he's always ahead of before we even know what we need. He's ahead of you and I think that that's one of the best things about living in faith is that you have this guidance from the Holy Spirit that can go before you and prepare the way. How do you define success today compared to five or 10 years ago?

Dr. Lyndsi:

Oh gosh. So five or 10 years ago, success would have been being a program director, speaking at national conferences, having some publications under my belt, and I probably would have had a way less relationship with my children. Now success to me is being able to wake up in the morning and feel like I am living out a purpose, and that purpose is to be able to connect and change the lives of my patients and being able to raise little soldiers of Jesus and being able to be there and connect with them. I have time for all of the passions that I want. I think being successful is a much different definition for me now. Like success is more about who I'm raising and the legacy I'm leaving behind in them than like what I'm able to do on my own or like what my professional accolades are.

Emilia :

Any last encouragement that you would want to give for women navigating the professional ambition and also a desire for a slower, more faith-filled family life?

Dr. Lyndsi:

I think just really preying on what it is that you want and having faith that it'll work out, and taking the leap, that was the biggest thing for me.

Dr. Lyndsi:

I was very fearful, it was very scary, and I was walking in this path that I felt like, oh my gosh, this could all blow up in my face. I'm giving up a six-figure salary and I could list off all the reasons why I shouldn't do it, but I couldn't ignore the voice, and so I think like if you have that calling and you feel like you're drowning and you can't, I felt like I was constantly burning the candle at both ends, and so now I never feel like that. I have this kind of like perfect balance that I've been able to find, and again, not that there's not stress, but being able to give it to God and really just take that leap of faith. I think faith is the word that I want to leave everyone with is, if you have that faith and walk in that faith, know that if God puts it before you and you feel like it's supposed to be where you're going, I think that that's probably a good thing to give into and listen to and be obedient to Thank you.

Emilia :

That's so encouraging, and for people that are local in Rochester and want to become your patient, or if there's a doctor that wants to connect with you, what's the best way for people to connect with you?

Dr. Lyndsi:

You can check out our website. It's paradoxhealth. I have an Instagram, but it's really just. I kind of share my running journey and my sourdough and homeschooling stuff. There's not a lot of medicine on there, but every once in a while I'll pop in when things are roughing my feathers. So my Instagram is at Dr Lindsay Davenport and then you could always reach out via email, which is Lindsay at Paradox Health. Thank you so much.

Emilia :

Dr Lindsay yes, it's been so great. Thanks so much for having me For the episode takeaways. I have one. Having children does not hinder your ability to be a competent professional or successful. However, having children may change your definition of success.

Emilia :

2. Direct primary care allows doctors and patients to work on preventative health and address root cause issues. It is a direct relationship to your doctor, without any third party involvement. 3.

Emilia :

If your professional life is leaving you with the feeling of burning the candle at both ends, take time to reimagine your career in a way that better accommodates the life you envision. Leaving the traditional path takes courage, but it can be incredibly rewarding. Prayer can be the turning point and the thing that allows you to overcome fears and take the leap of faith. Point and the thing that allows you to overcome fears and take the leap of faith. Six for some professional moms that want to homeschool, the hybrid model is an option that allows the perfect mix of support and time. Seven it is not less ambitious to desire a slower, more faith-filled family life and career. And I also wanted to share a little bit about a powerful off the record reflection that we had after this conversation, and that was the recognition that building a dream career, especially one that offers time and freedom and flexibility, is often made possible by the support of a spouse or partner, and although that support isn't always visible or discussed, it matters deeply and we are both very thankful for it.

Emilia :

That's it for today's episode. Thank you for spending this time with me. I know how valuable your time is and I hope you're walking away feeling encouraged to dream a little bigger about what's possible for your work and family life. If this episode spoke to you, it would mean so much if you shared it with another mom who needs this kind of encouragement. Make sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode, and if you want to keep the conversation going, connect with me on LinkedIn. Just search Emilia Cotto. That's E-M-I-L-I-A-C-O-T-O. Until next time, remember motherhood isn't the end of your dreams, it's just the beginning.